Monday, Sept. 3, 2012 at 2:19am

It was Labor Day 2012.  I was sound asleep.  My cell phone was ringing at 2:19am.  I didn't hear it as I had it set only for my alarm to go off at 4:00am that day.  Then my husband's cell phone received a call, then our oldest daughter.  None of us heard our phones.  Just a short few minutes later I heard knocking at our door.  I was groggy, so wasn't sure what the noise was.  Then I heard a continuous loud knocking.  If you have a mind like me, there is nothing good that comes from a knock at 2:30am.  I think it is someone at the wrong house, a burglar, a neighbor needed help, or something had has happened to someone in my family.  I peeked through our blinds and there was headlights.  It looked as though it could be my Mom and Dad's car (ok, my step Dad technically but I'm going with Dad and you can't tell me otherwise).  My husband was up too right ahead of me going down the stairs with a flash light.  My heart was pounding, not wanting to hear any news my Dad was going to tell us.  He was trembling at the door.  This is what I heard, "Kerry had a heart attack." Kerry is my oldest brother.   I knew my mind processed the words, but I didn't want to believe it.  I believe that took about 2 seconds.  Then I went into action.  I deliver an early morning paper so I asked my husband to do that for me, and of course he is awesome and I knew he had no problem doing it.  I asked my Dad to come and and told him I have to change an brush my teeth.  I turned around to go upstairs and or son was standing there with his blanket.  I hugged him and told him to go back to sleep.  I should've let him know what was going on but I just needed to leave.  I got dressed in lightening speed and brushed my teeth and left with my Dad.  My brother drove himself to our local ER.  He had chest pains and couldn't feel his left arm all the way down to almost his hand.  The sent him by ambulance to a Fargo hospital.  My Mom rode in the ambulance and I rode with my Dad.  It was the quickest ride to Fargo ever.  We didn't care about police cars.  In most situations as this I am a crying mess.  But, somehow I had God's peace all over me and I didn't cry once.  I had a peace that the nurses and doctors were going to take care of him and the in the end he was going to be ok.  I knew it wasn't his time to go to heaven.  We pulled off the interstate and went north a few blocks.  I heard a siren behind us.  Then my Dad pulled to the side of the road, but the ambulance made a turn before he got to our car.  We got right to the ER and there was the ambulance pulling in.  It was my brother. I knew because it was the ambulance from our town.  We parked and I ran in the door.  I wanted to be with him.  I couldn't go in.  I was screaming  inside,  I'm his only sister.  Why wouldn't they let me go in?  The receptionist said it would be about 15 minutes, and they would let me know when we could see him.  My Dad and I stood in the hall way. The locked double doors opened and I could see my Mom standing there alone in front of the room where he was in.  She looked sad, frightened, lonely, and hopeless.  I couldn't even go and hug her.  Quite a few nurses, and staff came and went through those same doors and were off limits to me.  It was only about 30 feet and I couldn't see my own brother.  Finally, my Mom came out of the off limits area.  She was crying.  I hugged her.  My Dad hugged her.  She got the words out.  He was going up right away for an angiogram.  I still couldn't see him.  A nurse took us up to the waiting room.  We all sat there conversing, but I don't really remember what we all talked about.  About an hour later the doctor came out.  She said he had a major heart attack, 100% blockage in his front artery and some damage to his heart.  She thought it would all get back to normal eventually because of his age.  He is 46, 2 months shy of his 47th birthday.  We asked about him working and when we could see him.  She said a nurse would come out and then we could walk with him up to cardiac ICU.  That was the first time I saw him.  He looked very tired and week.  He told me he was doing fine.  Again, we had to wait in the family waiting room and they got him settled into his room.  We got to see him again a short time later and he still said he was doing good.  He was very tired.  He was going to sleep.  I knew after seeing him that he was going to live and be ok.  Another thing about my brother is that he has a cochlear implant.  He only had one battery, the one that he was wearing.  I suggested that my Dad and I go back home so that I could get his other battery and bring it back.  We made the trip home.  I got Kerry's pick up and drove it to his place, and got his extra battery and charger.  I went home and slept a bit since I knew he'd be sleeping.  Then I took a shower and drove back to Fargo.  My Mom and I spent that whole afternoon in the ICU with him.  In the early afternoon the nurse said she was going to get up him in a chair.  He had been on his back since about 1am.  After an angiogram you have to be on your back anywhere from about 2-4 hours.  We had to leave the room while they were getting him up.  We came back in after they got him in the chair.  He wanted some water so the nurse (Carrie, who we loved!) went out to get that.  I had a newspaper with me so I asked if he'd like to read it and he said, "Yes."  We both were talking with him and suddenly he was white and not responding to us.  He started heaving.  My Mom and I frantically looked around for a bucket or garbage can.  My first thought is that he was sick from the medicine.  Then in a blink of an eye his head cocked to the right and his eyes rolled back.  In an instant I had a thought of my brother is dying.  I felt hopeless, and sick to my stomach.  I couldn't do a thing, other than say a prayer for him.  He was still hooked up to all the machines.  It was all surreal.  The machine was blinking and making noises.  Carrie ran back in and started talking real loud to him, "Kerry, can you hear me?  Are you ok?"  She yelled for help.  Then like they were called to save their own brother about 10 other nurses ran in to assist.  Carrie told my Mom and I to go out in the hallway.  I didn't want to move.  I knew I could medically assist, but I didn't want to leave him with anyone else.  We did go to the hall way, which was only about 15 feet away.  We witnessed the entire swarm of nurses helping my dying brother.  They got him back in his bed.  He wasn't dying.  He had struck a nerve and that is very common after a patient has had an angiogram.  I was thinking to myself, common huh?  It maybe common to you, but I don't see this happening to my brother every day.  After all the commotion, my Mom and I went back in.  He looked at me and said, "Scared ya, didn't I?"  "Yeah, you did and that is twice in one day now that is enough," I told him.  We sat next to his bed for awhile.  My Mom was getting really tired so she went to the waiting room to sleep.  Our step brother came in for a visit.  He is such a nice guy, talking to Kerry and asking him questions.  Kerry was getting sleepy again so we left and woke up my Mom.  My Mom and I went back in to see Kerry.  Honestly, we didn't care for the nurse that was on duty at that time.  I personally think nurses are fabulous, I believe they do more work for less pay than the doctors, and interact more with patients and families.  This nurse just didn't have any bedside manners.  We were not comfortable leaving him for the night with her.  I asked her when her shift was done and she was done at 7pm.  We decided to see the new nurse and stay for when they'd get Kerry up in a chair again.  Kerry said he wanted some supper so we ordered him a chef salad and half a roast beef sandwich.  He ate really good.  He needed it to get his strength back.  He was really weak.  He was very nervous about getting back up in the chair as he remembered what happened the first time.   After he ate he was much more talkative, got a little color back, & just seemed more like himself.  What a relief!  We met the new nurse and she seemed to be really great!  She said she'd get him up after awhile, he was still nervous about that.  We had asked him in the afternoon if he felt comfortable staying there overnight if we left and he said ok.  My Mom said we'd leave then after we saw the new nurse.  I said, "I thought we were going to stay for the sit up."  She said I think it will be fine.  So, I asked him one more time, "Do you feel comfortable if we both go home for the night?"  He said, "Yes, Im a big boy now.  You can go."  Finally, getting a bit back to normal!  A little humor is great!  We all felt better.  Mom gave him a hug and a kiss and said, "I love you."  I said, "Love you," and see you tomorrow.  We left.